Is Forgiving Others the Answer?
Overcoming resentment is not always easy but it is possible. When it comes to learning how to deal with resentment, forgiveness may be the answer you are looking for.
Then again, when dealing with resentment, forgiveness may be the last thing that you feel like doing. However, learning about the importance of forgiveness will help you to understand that forgiveness does not mean condoning another person’s actions. Forgiveness is about setting your self free.
When we harbor resentment or unforgiveness, we are hurting ourselves. Forgiveness can help us to release the toxic impact that resentment can have on your mind, body, emotions and spirit. Practicing forgiveness helps us to let go of resentment.
An Exercise to Assist You in Overcoming Resentment
This exercise offers you a healthy way to deal with resentment. Since this exercise helps to dissolve resentment, it will also help you in forgiving others and in forgiving yourself.
You can use this exercise by itself or in conjunction with these steps to forgiveness. Please note that the first few steps of this exercise where inspired by an exercise that Louise Hay shares in her book, You Can Heal Your Life.
1. Centering and Preparation
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and when you feel relaxed, imagine yourself in a special place. This special place can be anywhere that your imagination takes you, perhaps somewhere in nature or to a special forgiveness room that you can return to again and again when doing forgiveness work.
2. Envision Someone to Forgive
In the spirit of overcoming resentment and forgiving others, think of someone who you resent in some way or someone who has upset, hurt or offended you. See this person sitting in front of you, at a distance that feels comfortable to you.
If for any reason it is not comfortable for you to invite this person into the special place that you have created with your imagination, envision them behind a wall of glass or in a room across from yours or see them on the TV screen, be creative and do what feels good to you.
3. Visualize Good Things Happening
When you see this person clearly, visualize good things happening to him or her. Imagine them doing things that they enjoy and envision them having meaningful life experiences.
See this person smiling and happy. Hold the image for a few minutes and then let it fade away.
Now take a moment to do the same for yourself. See and feel good things happening to you.
See yourself smiling, happy and at peace. Feel how good this feels.
You can close your session with gratitude here or you can follow the rest of the steps below.
4. Share What's in Your Heart
Feel the energy of your heart. To do this, focus on the feeling of gratitude. While in this heart centered space, notice if there is anything that you want to say to this person. Acknowledging and Speaking your truth in a heart centered way can assist you in overcoming resentment.
Note that speaking your truth simply means to speak the truth of what's on your mind and heart, be honest about what you are thinking or feeling...don't hold back, let it all out. You can do this in a heart centered way by imagining the words coming from your heart and speak with as much compassion and kindness as possible.
So, if there is something you want to say to the other person, imagine yourself doing that now. Imagine them hearing and receiving your words. Imagine what they would say to you if they where to respond from a heart centered, loving space.
While you may never have this conversation in your physical reality, now that having it on the inner planes of reality can be just as effective in setting yourself and the other person free, energetically.
5. Affirm Your Progress
If you are having a hard time with this, keep affirming to yourself that "I am willing to let this resentment/unforgiveness go." Continue to imagine good things happening for the other person and for yourself.
Otherwise, affirm your progress by stating an affirmation such as, "I no longer hold resentment towards you. You are free and I am free and so it is. For this, I am grateful."
6. Give Thanks
As you continue the feeling of gratitude, take a moment to mentally give thanks to any divine assistance you may have had during this time of forgiveness and overcoming resentment.
Thank yourself for taking the time to do this important forgiveness work and mentally thank the other person for the opportunity to learn how to forgive and to let go of resentment.
When you are ready, gently open your eyes and return to your physical space.
Additional Forgiveness Exercises:
Forgiveness Inventory Exercise
Forgiveness Steps: Asking for Forgiveness
Related Pages on Forgiveness:
Benefits of Forgiveness
How to Forgive and Forget - Is it Possible?
Steps to Forgiveness: A Step by Step Forgiveness Process
How to Forgive Someone
The Importance of Forgiveness
From "Overcoming Resentment" to Happiness Information "Home Page"