How to Forgive Someone and How to Forgive Yourself

When you are learning how to forgive someone or how to forgive yourself, it is helpful to have a road map to follow. There are many paths that lead to forgiveness. These Five Steps to Forgiveness is one path that you can use to reach your forgiveness goals.

While we may think that forgiving others is something we do for "them" (i.e. the people that we are forgiving), we are actually the ones who receive the greatest benefit. How? Forgiveness sets us free as it allows us to release harbored energy, emotions and thoughts that do not serve us.

Understanding the importance of forgiveness and the benefits of forgiveness can help us to better comprehend why practicing forgiveness is well worth our time. This knowledge can also provide us the motivation that we may need in order to give ourselves the gift of forgiveness.

When to Forgive?

How do we know when we have some forgiving to do? When difficult emotions get triggered within us as we think about a person or situation, it's likely that we have some forgiveness work to do.

Also, when we are feeling blocked in our life, forgiveness can help to clear the suppressed energy that may be weighing us down and holding them back from living the life that we truly desire.

Forgiveness work can help us to break thru stagnant energy and support us in moving forward with our goals and desires.

As Author and Spiritual Teacher, Louise Hay Says....

"I know that when we are stuck, it usually means there is some more forgiving to be done. When we do not flow freely with life in the present moment, it usually means we are holding on to a past moment. It can be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, or guilt, blame anger, resentment, and sometimes even the desire for revenge. Each one of these states comes from a space of unforgiveness, a refusal to let go and come into the present moment."

These forgiveness exercises can help us to release difficult emotions and can be instrumental in helping us learn how to forgive someone (including ourselves).

Giving Forgiveness on a Regular Basis

A key element in learning how to forgive someone is to create a regular forgiveness practice. This is a great way to keep your energy up and will help you to stay healthy and happy.

In Chakra Clearing, author Doreen Virtue writes, “Just as you probably wash your face every night, it’s also important to cleanse your consciousness nightly so resentment won’t accumulate.”

Doreen recommends doing nightly releasements where you review your day mentally prior to falling asleep. Ask yourself if there is anyone from your day that you need to forgive (including yourself and if you have pets, include them as needed) and if there is, take a few moments to do a forgiveness exercise.

Or, you may want to keep it really simple by saying a forgiveness affirmation. A nice affirmation that Doreen recommends is, "I forgive you and I release you. I hold no unforgiveness back. My forgiveness for you is total. I am free and you are free." You can use this or create your own positive affirmation statement.

Saying the forgiveness affirmation may be all you do. Or, you could take it a step further and after you say the affirmation, visualize and feel the forgiveness occurring inside of you. This is very powerful!

Then, if it feels right, ask God/Spirit to assist you in making this forgiveness complete. Give thanks, allowing the sensation of gratitude to fill your heart. Then, imagine sending this gratitude to the person or pet whom you have just forgiven.



As you become accustomed to giving forgiveness, you may even find yourself practicing forgiveness throughout the day, clearing situations as they happen, or soon after when you have a few minutes to go within to forgive and release the energy of the situation.

The idea is to simply begin to incorporate the practice of forgiveness into your life on a more regular basis. Doing so, will help you to experience the benefits of forgiveness on an ongoing basis.

Whether you choose to practice forgiveness daily or weekly, you can start your forgiveness practice now, by implementing these five steps to forgiveness. The five steps will assist you in learning how to forgive someone who has hurt you and how to forgive yourself, when needed.

Who knows, you may even inspire others to learn how to forgive someone who has hurt them. What a wonderful gift that would be!


Related Pages on Forgiveness:

Forgiveness Exercises

Benefits of Forgiveness

How to Forgive and Forget - Is it Possible?

Steps to Forgiveness: A Step by Step Forgiveness Process

How to Ask for Forgiveness

The Importance of Forgiveness




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